The Christian Codependence Recovery Workbook – By Stephanie Tucker
Faulty Beliefs
Driving Emotions
Behavioral Reaction
Truth-Based Response
I have to feel this way.
Fear (of rejection), shame
I can’t choose my emotional responses, life just happens to me, and I’m a victim of my circumstances.
My emotions don’t reflect reality. I need to be grounded on what God says is true. If I learn to dwell on God’s promises, my emotions can change.
I can’t accept myself without the love and/or approval of those around me. I’m lovable if others think I’m lovable. I must work hard to make them love me.
Fear (of rejection), shame
The central goal of my life is to focus on the needs of others and to attempt to please them. I also work hard to make people see me in a certain way.
I can accept myself without the love or approval of anyone. I am loved and approved in Christ Jesus. My only goal in life is to please God.
If I don’t do everything exactly right, I’m a complete failure and will feel worthless.
Shame, guilt, fear (of rejection and failure).
I have a standard of perfection in all things I do. I impose high standards on others. If I can’t do something perfectly, I won’t do it at all.
I can calmly accept myself regardless of what I do or how I perform. I will do my best and leave the results to God. I learn to walk in grace.
Other people or things outside of me make me feel the emotions I feel.
Powerlessness, anger
I’ll demand people make me “feel” good or blame them when I “feel bad.” I’ll try to change the way others feel. I get angry when people don’t meet my needs.
I can calmly accept myself regardless of what I do or how I perform. I will do my best and leave the results to God. I learn to walk in grace.
Faulty Beliefs
Driving Emotions
Behavioral Reaction
Truth-Based Response
I get angry when people don’t behave in ways I think they should. It’s my job to get them to understand the error of their ways.
Anger, Powerlessness
I attempt to control other people’s behavior so they will measure up to my own standards.
It’s the Holy Spirit’s job to bring conviction to change someone else’s behavior. I can set healthy boundaries in my life, but have no right to attempt to change or control another person’s behaviors.
I need to be ultra-responsible for others. I don’t think they can handle it and things will fall apart if I don’t.
Fear, Powerlessness
I do things for other people and prevent the people in my life from having to face negative consequences(enablement).
I am responsible for myself and need to allow others the opportunity to be responsible for their own choices. I often stand in God’s way by intervening and attempting to “help” and “fix” others.
I can overcome someone’s “bad” behavior by being the good one.
Shame, fear, anger, powerlessness
I work hard to be good and follow all rules. My efforts will attempt to correct everything “wrong” around me.
I have no ability to undo someone else’s behavior, including my own. Only God can do that through His grace and the power of His redemptive blood. My “good acts” must be from Jesus in order for them to hold power.
