The High Price of Perfectionism
It is a great quality to want to do your best, to please your teacher and parents, to want to do things the right way. If you are a perfectionist, people tend to trust you with responsibilities. You are seen as reliable. You are often praised for their attention to detail, thoroughness, and the ability to produce high-quality work. There’s a quiet reward in being the one who catches what others miss, who plans well, who shows up prepared. And maybe the strangest thing of all — people rarely correct you for your perfectionism. It doesn’t feel like a problem because it looks so much like virtue. You won’t hear, “Hey, you’re being too responsible.” Or, “You’re trying too hard to be thoughtful.”
But sometimes this beautiful desire (to do and be good) can get distorted along the way. And when it does get distorted, trying to be perfect can lead to a downward spiral. Underneath the surface, something more complicated is brewing. The roots of perfectionism hides a deeper fear. A fear of acceptance. If I am perfect no one can reject me. A fear of failure. If I never fail, people can’t criticize me. A fear of approval. If I do a perfect job mom/dad will approve of me.
There are many challenges that come from being a perfectionist. As we strive for perfection the end result may often lead to discouragement and feelings of failure. We start to rely on our own abilities to make everything perfect versus implementing the skill of acceptance with what is and trusting what is.
Perfectionism is a symptom of growing up with either too much or not enough control — or a combination of both. The result is the perplexing weight of over-responsibility — a way of adapting to preserve connection, for which we’re made. With repeated experiences of seeing how volunteering for that task, going the additional mile, and being extra careful gets rewarded, it is easy to conflate our performance with our lovability.
The Antidote
At first, it can seem like the antidote to perfectionism is rational thought. In other words, all I have to do is stop believing that I should be able to get through a single day, or even an hour, without making a mistake. That I should be ok with completing a task even if it isn’t entirely comprehensive and flawless. That I should know that there is no error that cannot be corrected, no evil from which God can’t bring a greater good. But it doesn’t work. The antidote to perfectionism as a form of self-protection is not rational. It’s trust and acceptance.
The way forward, to be freed from anxiety-riddled, belabored processes of attaining impossible standards, is not avoiding the decision or waiting until it feels just right or eliminating all risk. It is in trusting and noticing. We have all been equipped with an emotional communication system, so we can feel all the feelings that arise in a safe and healthy way, riding the waves of each of them until the waters have stilled. Learn to notice what arises instead of regulating by “doing.” Let the feeling ride the wave. Trust.
A Disclaimer About the Road to Healing
For a perfectionist, the road to healing passes through grief. There is a mourning process that is natural to letting go of the need to be perfect. And participating freely in that grief is a necessary step to becoming more flexible and free. And here’s the good news. Grief will always give way to joy, it will help us recalibrate. It will feel new and frightening and exhilarating to step into the unknown and make a choice without absolute certainty. It will lead to joy.
For all you fellow perfectionists out there, I hope and pray you can all get to a place where you can trust the feelings arising in you and just notice them instead of acting on them. If you struggle with perfectionism and want to learn more, contact Therapy Solutions at 701-483-1000 and schedule an appointment with one of our mental health counselors to Take Your Life Back!
Shrug off Shoulder Pain this Fall
Autumn is here! At Therapy Solutions, we’re celebrating all our fall favorites, from cozy sweaters to pumpkin spice lattes. But with the cooler temps and changing leaves comes something you might not expect: shoulder pain.
Autumn can make your shoulders work harder than you realize, especially as you clear out leaves and prepare your yard for the winter. The repetitive motions of autumn yardwork, in particular, can leave you with stiffness and soreness in your shoulder joint.
The good news: there are practical ways to protect your shoulders and enjoy fall without discomfort. Here are some tips from our multidisciplinary team to help keep your shoulders healthy this autumn.
Why Shoulders Are Vulnerable This Time of Year
Your shoulders are vulnerable all year round, in large part because they’re the most mobile joints in your body. They allow you to reach overhead, lift, rotate, and throw, but that same mobility makes them more prone to injury.
However, several fall activities can overload your rotator cuff (the muscles that wrap around the shoulder joint) and irritate other soft tissues in the shoulder. Examples include:
- Repetitive yard work, such as raking and bagging leaves
- Carrying heavier loads like firewood or holiday shopping
- Sudden bursts of activity after a slower summer
- Sports such as football or volleyball that demand overhead motion
Three Tips for Preventing and Managing Shoulder Pain
1. Move Smarter
The best way to stop shoulder pain is to move with care and keep your body strong as you go about your autumn tasks.
Warm Up Before Yard Work Or Other Vigorous Activities
A few minutes of arm circles, shoulder rolls, or light stretching prepares muscles for work.
Use Both Sides Of Your Body
Switch arms often when raking, sweeping, or carrying, which prevents one side from overworking.
Use Proper Lifting Technique
Lifting with your legs instead of your back and shoulders helps prevent injury. Holding heavy objects near your body also lessens pressure on the shoulders.
Break Tasks Into Smaller Chunks
Shorter sessions for yardwork or other physically demanding activities–with rest in between–reduce fatigue and strain.
2. Build Shoulder Strength and Stability
Strong, balanced shoulder muscles support the joint and lower your injury risk. Targeted strengthening exercises are the key to building that strength, and our team can identify the right ones for your needs. Some examples include:
Wall Push-Ups
Strengthens your chest and shoulder muscles without the heavy load of a standard push-up
Theraband Rows
Builds the back muscles that stabilize the shoulder blades
Scapular Squeezes
Helps improve posture and reduce strain on the shoulder
Light Overhead Presses
Builds control and endurance throughout the shoulder
3. Improve Shoulder Mobility
Tight muscles around the shoulders limit motion and increase pain risk. Regular stretching helps maintain comfort. Try these gentle stretches, remembering to breathe through each one:
Cross-Body Arm Stretch
Pull one arm across your chest with the other for 15–20 seconds.
Overhead Triceps Stretch
Place one arm overhead, bend the elbow, and reach down behind your head.
Chest Opener
Clasp your hands behind your back and gently lift your arms to stretch the front of your shoulders.
Managing Shoulder Pain with the Team at Therapy Solutions
If you’re really struggling with shoulder pain, specialized care can make all the difference. Our multidisciplinary team offers a wide range of services that address both immediate pain and long-term shoulder health, including the following:
- Our occupational therapists have specialized training in the complexity of the shoulder joint and focus on making daily tasks easier, from lifting safely to dressing without discomfort. They also use manual techniques, therapeutic exercise, and modalities like ultrasound or electrical stimulation to reduce pain and restore mobility.
- Our athletic trainers provide conditioning and injury-prevention strategies tailored for sports and active lifestyles.
Take Control Of Shoulder Discomfort
Don’t let shoulder pain hold you back from enjoying all the joys of autumn! With smart habits, targeted exercise, and timely care, you can stay active and comfortable.
If you’re ready to feel better, Therapy Solutions offers comprehensive, personalized solutions to help you recover faster, prevent future problems, and return to the activities you enjoy. Call today to schedule an appointment to assess your shoulder and receive a personalized care plan from our integrated team.
Say Goodbye to Pain – Get Started with PT Now!
Ready to feel your best again? Come back to Therapy Solutions and let us help you achieve your wellness goals—book your appointment today!
In the Community:
Doug’s Family: Meet the Hawks
Two of Doug Jilek’s sons, Jeremiah and Nathaniel, recently participated in the “Meet the Hawks” event at Dickinson State University. This event gives DSU athletes the chance to give back to their young fans. Jeremiah and Nathaniel spent the evening signing autographs, playing games, and connecting with future Blue Hawks, including their nieces Eden, Aria, and Ivy.
Thank You for Subscribing to Therapy Solutions
Don’t Let Your Benefits Go to Waste: Use Your Deductible Before the Year Ends!
Did you know your therapy sessions could be free or reduced if your insurance deductible has already been met? Now’s the perfect time to schedule those sessions you’ve been putting off!
Call us today to check your benefits and book your appointment before the year ends!
Write Your Own Success Story
Love your experience with Therapy Solutions? Click the button to leave us a Google review—your feedback helps others find the care they need!
Jennifer’s Recipe:
Puerto Rican Sofrito
Ingredients
- 2 red bell peppers
- 2 green bell peppers
- 1 medium or large red onion
- 1 medium or large white onion
- 4 heads garlic (about 30–40 cloves, peeled) or a jar of minced garlic will do
- 1 large bunch cilantro (washed, stems included)
- 1 bunch culantro (“recao”, optional but traditional, hard to find in the Midwest, so you can double cilantro if not available)
- ½ cup water (adjust as needed for blending)
- 2–3 tablespoons olive oil (optional, helps preserve and blend smoothly)
Directions:
- Wash and roughly chop peppers, onions, garlic, and herbs.
- Add everything to a blender or food processor.
- Blend until smooth, adding water a little at a time to help it puree. (You want a thick paste, not too watery.)
- Store in airtight containers or ice cube trays (freeze cubes, then store in a freezer bag). Sofrito keeps in the fridge for up to 1 week or in the freezer for 3–4 months.
To Use:
Add 1–2 tablespoons to sautéed oil before cooking rice, beans, stews, or meats, it’s the flavor foundation of Puerto Rican cooking.
Follow Us on Facebook!
Staff Book Club: “Shelf Care”
Memoir Book Recommendation
Solo on Underwood and Solo on IBM
By Sergey Dovlatov
5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Collection of short stories, anecdotes, aphorisms of famous people the author has met.”
—Sasha, Physical Therapist
Fiction Book Recommendation
The Good Girl
By Mary Kubica
5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“The Good Girl is written in the eyes of many points of view but all focus around the abduction of Mia Dennett. I was immediately engrossed in this book. The end takes an abrupt twist that really shocked me.”
—Lori, Billing
Service Spotlight: Blood Flow Restriction Training
Looking for a smarter way to rebuild strength after an injury or surgery? At Therapy Solutions, we offer Blood Flow Restriction (BFR) Therapy in Dickinson, Killdeer and Richardton, ND as part of our personalized physical therapy programs. This innovative treatment helps you recover faster and regain strength—without the need for heavy lifting or high-impact movements.
What Is Blood Flow Restriction Therapy?
Blood Flow Restriction Therapy involves gently applying a specialized cuff or band to partially restrict blood flow during low-resistance exercises. While that might sound unusual, this technique is backed by science and used by professional athletes and rehab specialists across the country.
By limiting blood flow, your body responds as if it’s performing intense strength training—even though the exercise load is light. The result? You can build muscle and improve endurance while protecting your joints and healing tissues.
Meet Our Team
Jessie Binstock
DPT, Athletic Trainer
Terry Halverson
MOTR/L
Adrienne Belland
MS, OTR/L
Jared Erie
OTR/L
Eric Halverson
OTR/L, Occupational Health Manager
Terry Halverson
MOTR/L
Doug Jilek
Systems Manager
Jeanne Kilzer
MS CCC-SLP
Miranda Kuhn
MS, OTR/L
Heidi Schmidt
PTA, Athletic Trainer
Emily Carda
Athletic Trainer
